Bosh with Elaine and Josh

Goodbye, Blogger!

2008-08-17T12:47:00.001-07:00

So Bosh with Elaine and Josh is leaving Blogger.

We will be blogging on Wordpress from now on.

So please visit us as http://elaineandjosh.wordpress.com

And please notice that this is different then our current blog (joshandelaine.blogspot.com) it's now elaineandjosh.wordpress.com. Blame Elaine for the foolishness and fuckery.

Thank you, and we hope that you keep reading!!

~ Elaine and Josh

Good News For Our Girl!

2008-08-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Britney is back!

First came the pictures of her looking hot on her Mexican vacation, then some news about a new album, then three VMA nominations!

Perhaps you recall last years VMA performance? Pretty close to rock bottom for Brit. But now she's nomiated for Best Pop Video and Best Female Video, and VIDEO OF THE YEAR!! All for our fave song "Piece of Me". We've said it before, but we'll say it again: "Blackout" is a really good album and was unfortunatley overshadowed by Britney's personnal life. The bitch deserves way more credit!

And she'll be performing! She is truly on the road to a successful comback.

All our best,

Elaine and Josh

PS Who is Russell Brand??

Movie Review: "All the Queen's Men"

2008-08-09T15:09:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing that I am, it's loyal. To my favorite celebrities, that is. When if find someone, my interest quickly turns to obsession and I live and breathe for that person for a while, until the next person comes along. Well, my new favorite obsession in ninth grade was Eddie Izzard. What? You haven't heard of him? He's a British transvestite who works as a comedian currently trying to become a dramatic actor. I was lucky enough to see his first stand-up tour in six years, Stripped", last week, and this has sparked my obsession for him once again.

So my loyalty for my favorite celebrities means that I will see anything that they have done. And if I can, I'll buy it. I have a collection of shitty movies and albums that they've starred in. And dear Eddie Izzard's work is probably what I've collected the most of. So today I'd like to discuss one of the worst movies I've seen (and bought) for any of the objects of my affection: "All the Queen's Men".

This 2001 film currently holds the American record for the lowest return on investment (it was made for $25,000,000 and only brought in $22,723, giving it a -99.92% return). Ouch.

And my baby stars in it!

Well, next to Matt LeBlanc that is. Which was, let's be honest, the film's first real mistake. I apologize to all those hardcore Matt LeBlanc fans out there, but he acts exactly how you would expect Joey Tribiani to. (Badly).

So the story is set in World War II. Steven O'Rourke (Matt) is an American soldier with the affectionate nick-name "Agent Almost". He and a group of eccentric British soldiers are sent to Germany to get a decoding Enigma machine. The catch? The factory where they are made are staffed only by women. Only a women could get in. So, the soldiers must go in drag! LOL! There's Jonno, a strange little man who knows 27 languages and has to pee a lot (trust me, this is crucial to the plot); Some Old Man (who's name I can't remember but isn't important anyways) who has worked in the military office his whole life and is finally going on a real mission; and Tony Parker (Eddie Izzard <3 ) who is a bisexual transvestite who used to be in the military (and was damn good!) but now works as a gay club as a drag queen. His role in the movie is too teach the other butch, manly men who to apply makeup, walk in heels, and be acccepted at women. Doesn't this movie sound hilarious?!?!

Obviously, they run into problems (O'Rourke falls in love with the female German ally, Parker meets up with his old male German lover and his female ex-wife, etc.). But SPOILERS! they end up succesful in the end! Surprise!

If you couldn't tell from the synopsis alone, this is a bad movie. It's a very bad movie. But it has a special place in my heart. Eddie Izzard is very adorable in it, and I'm pretty sure that he did it as kind of joke; being a transvestite himself and having a whole routine about "the first transvestite brigade" in his most beloved stand-up tour, "Dress to Kill".

I'd also like to take the time to point out that the DVD promises "Attractive Special Feature", but this is a lie as there are none to be found.

I'd also like to say that there are long stretches in the film where only German is being spoken, however the neglected to add English subtitles.

So I recommend this movie to no one. Except Eddie Izzard fans. And I recommend Eddie Izzard to everyone.

With all my love,

Elaine

Our First Project

2008-08-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

Remembe how in the very first post we said that this blog would be a space where we could keep tabs on the progress of our summer goals?

Well, August has begun and we've started on our first goal: entering a short screenplay in a contest.

Today we spent three hours in our fave frozen yogurt shop and thought of a really fabulous premise.

But we're keeping it under wraps for now. Stay tuned, bitches! You'll get more details later. (But if you want a hint, a major part of the story has been mentioned several times on this blog already...)

Yours truly,

Elaine and Josh

Awk Convo Excerpts: Case #1

2008-08-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

You are walking around the mall. You are tuning out the bitch you went with who just won't shut up. You are minding your own business. Then you see two people heading towards you engaged in active conversation. You sweat. You look for a path to avoid them.

But it's too late. You hear two sentences of their conversation and then they're gone.

You, my friend, have just become a victim of Awk Convo Eavesdropping.

It happens to the best of us, so we here at Bosh with Elaine and Josh do our best to cope with fellow victims. If ever we are attacked, we will share with you the chilling two sentences of awkward conversation, so that you know that are NOT alone.

Without further ado, here is Case #1: Brother's Baby Bottle?

Victim: Josh
Place: Mesa College, San Diego, main stairs
When: Approximately 6:19PM
Assaulters: Two young, cacausian females, both wearing sunglasses.
The Attack: One female is telling the other female a story that seems to be interesting for both parties. One says: "....designated driver. So we go clubbing that night and my brother starts guzzling my bottle...!" End of attack.

Hypotheses:

Female #1's brother promised to be a the designated driver but accidentally mistakes vodka for water.
Female #1 and her brother decide to join a young parenting club. Brother is disappointed by the lack of food and beverage at club meetings so he grabs Female #1's bottle and starts drinking.
Female #1 is telling a childhood story of the time her and her brother went miniature golfing and he chugged her entire milk bottle.

All three of these hypotheses are equally horrifying.

May Peace Be Upon Thee.

Just For You, anonymous!

2008-08-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

In our last post (Brush with Fame, Episode 1), we detailed our adventure in seeing Tim Curry live and in the flesh. We posted a photograph of the man himself that we had taken that day, asking our readers to pay special attention to the bleach spot on his shoulder.

However, a reader going by the name "anonymous" (how mysterious!) posted the following comment: "What bleach stain??"

Because this bleach stain is an integral part of the Tim Curry experience, we felt the need to post a clearer picture so that everybody can understand. This bleach spot is also significant because it shows that our Lord, Tim Curry, is also a little bit human (but still mainly immortal).

So thanks, anonymous, for asking the question. Because we love talking about Tim Curry!

Brush with Fame, Episode 1.

2008-08-05T20:01:00.000-07:00

In this popular feature of our blog, we will share the stories that define our lives: our interactions with celebrities. The first tale we will tell is one very close to our hearts: Tim Curry.

At the end of April we were informed that, "that guy from that weird transvestite alien movie that you guys like is going to be at the LA Festival of Books". Our first thought was, "which weird transvestite alien movie? That's half of the movies we like!" Once we narrowed it down to being "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", and the doctor himself, Tim Curry, we knew we had to go.

The LA Festival of Books was a two day fair that featured many authors, actors, and activists (there were actually no activists that we remember; we just added it for flow). They were there to promote their material and meet fans. Luckily for us, we live close enough to Los Angeles that it was no problem to convice someone to take us.

On April 28, 2008, we enter the LA Festival of Books with the explicit purpose of meeting Tim Curry.

But the thing was, Tim Curry is not an author. It turns out that he was going to be interviewing John Landis, who was no author that we had heard of either. A quick Wikipedia search lead us to the finding that John Landis is an American film director responsible for "The Blue Brothers", "An American Werewolf in London", "Animal House". and more. However, neither of us had seen any of these movies, so we still just wanted TC. Anyways, it turns out that someone had written a biography of John Landis and for no explainable reason, they chose Tim Curry to interview both John Landis and the author of the book.

We passed the day away waiting, eaiting frozen lemonade, getting free Bibles, and seeing Harry Winkler read his new children's book aloud.

Finally, it was time. We waited in front of Tim Curry's stage for about an hour to make sure we got front row seats. And then. There he was. Well, it wasn't really his time to come on. He just walked in front of the stage to get back to the backstage area. But still, we caught a glimpse of him.

We were sitting next to a lady who very luckily for her had both an "An American Wereworld in London" and a "RHPS" tattoo. Can you imagine how happy she was when she found out that Tim was going to interview John?

But then it really was time for Tim to come out. The interview was nice enough and lasted about an hour. He even spoke about himself a few times and mentioned his infamous role. A memorable moment was when Tim opened it up to questions from the audience:

Creepy Audience Member Speaking to John Landis: I show your film, "Innocent Blood" to everyone who comes to my apartment.
Tim Curry (interuppting): Do you ever get laid?

The audience member was shamed. By Tim Curry. That's embarrassing.

So after the interview, John Landis stuck around to sign copies of his book. But that sneaky Tim Curry was literally rushed offstage by a body guard and ran into a golf cart and was quickly driven away.

It was an honor to be in his presence.

Here is a photo we took of him on that day. Please pay special attention to the bleach stain on his shoulder.

Opinion: Lindsay Lohan

2008-08-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Ahhh... so all the surprises coming from Lindsay Lohan and her new lover Samantha Ronson. What do our dynamic Elaine and Josh think about Lohan's new foray into homosexuality?

JOSH SAYS: I have to say... I'm not quite convinced. I just read that they want to get married at the end of the year but what the hell?!! It's only been a few months. And I can imagine Wilmur Valderama (or however you spell his name) is rather embarrassed and can testify that Lindsay Lohan is hetero indeed, or at least bi. I see this whole relationship ending like Anne Heche and Ellen. Lindsay is going to undergo an epiphany and realize... "Hey! I'm NOT gay after all!". Poor Samantha Ronson...

However, I do hope that if they do get married it works out. Because divorce is never nice.

ELAINE SAYS: I'd say that since she's met Samantha, she's really gotten her shit together (or so it seems). And did she really date Wilmur whatever? And maybe she just dated Aaron Carter because she was really in love with Hilary Duff and wanted to make her jealous!

Oh well, I guess I'm happy for Lindsay, whether she's really a lesbian or just a for-now-bian.

Party Animals.

2008-08-03T23:01:00.001-07:00

One of the things that Josh and I love to do most is amuse our friends and make them laugh. We're known to go to great lengths to achieve this. And although we are often not very social and end up just chatting to each other in a corner somewhere; we do like a good party. Especially when we are the hosts.

The first party we threw was very last minute. We're very fond of the Brits and were just talking about one of our fave, David Bowie's, upcoming birthday. One of us said, "Wouldn't it be funny to throw him a party?" Next thing we knew it turned into a combined party for David Bowie, Elton John, Eddie Izzard, Roger Daltrey and Richard O'brien. Invitations were handed out at school on Monday. We called it: The First Annual Brit Birthday Bash!

The main draw of the evening was a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show for Richard O'brien's bday (expect to hear a lot about RHPS from us!). We projected it onto a large screen and put together partici...pation kits for everyone. It was an excellent party and we were sundenly the talk of the town.

So for the Second Annual Brit Birthday Bash, it was Josh's idea to celebrate Britney Spears' 26th birthday! This was in the middle of her breakdown (you remember? Divorce, custody battle, head shaving, paparrazzo dating, car crashing, car attacking, head shaving, no underwear wearing, the VMA performance...). However, people forget that in the middle of this she dropped the album "Blackout". Josh and I bought it and fell in love. From the first, "It's Britney, bitch" to the end, it was sheer musical heaven (I swear this is without irony).

So at the party we let everyone on to thik that it was just a quite evening. We even played a Cranium boardgame where we changed all the things to relate to Brit. We even played Charades! But then...just when we arranged everyone perfectly in the living room and they were getting bored and confused...all the lights went out.

"Oh no!" Yelled Josh.
"What's happening?????!" Screamed frantic party-goers.
"It's a Blackout!" I said deviously.
"It's Britney, bitch!" Said Britney, as she boomed over the iHome speakers. We threw out glow sticks and started the strobe light and Red Hot Laser Lightshow. The afterparty had begun and everyone danced for hours straight.

Obviously, these parties are extrememly hard to follow up. We did throw another, but it was a failure. We won't talk about it.

Now it's time for the Third Annual Brit Birthday Bash, but we are at a loss. What Brit should we use? Brittle bone disease? British Atlantic Territories? Britain's Missing Top Model??

When we think of it, you're all invited!

~ Elaine and Josh

Opinions

2008-07-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

We are opiniated bitches and in our popular Opinions feature, we will put a controversial issue up for debate. I will say what I think, then Josh will share his views.

Today's topic:

MTV's announced remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show

ELAINE SAYS: Okay, so I like RHPS. A lot. I've only seen it live twice, but I've seen it at home literally dozens upon dozens of times and have participated in two different at-home participation experiences (guess who with). I have researched it's past and all the participants involved and can quickly name the hairdresser and makeup artist and tell you who else they've worked with. Josh and I once sent $50 in cash to NYC to get some RHPS-realted shit from the official fan club. In short, I'm a big freaky fan. I mean, I've even own Shock Treatment on VHS and DVD! Not just any one would buy that twice!

But when I heard the news of the remake, I was kind of excited (I won't make the obvious reference here). I think people are just getting too hot and flustered over it. Because it sounds to me like it will get released on TV, no one will watch it, and it will go away. American teeangers won't be enticed by the TV-guide description that reads, "NEW - wholesome couple get ensnared in alien transvestite's plot for sexual domination". And if anything this will only bring back more hype for the original movie!

Plus it's a big paycheck for Richard O'Brien.

But my one thing about a remake is that the story is so dated. I mean, why would Brad and Janet have to stop to use a phone where they both have cell phones with them? And why don't they just update their Facebook status' from their iPhone to send for help? And Dr. Scott could have been on Frank-n-furter's ass in ten minutes if he just Googled him! But whatever, I'm still excited to see it. Even in Zac Efron has the lead role.

PS Tim Curry was a sexy mofo, wasn't he?

JOSH SAYS: I will only watch it if Susan Sarandon reprises her role. I bet she'd look even hotter now...

The Greatest Service on the Internet

2008-07-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

Josh has recently found Swaptree.com and it is truly the best thing out there. Instead of selling something on a nameless Internet market site and getting only two dollars for a DVD, you can trade your old DVD/book/CD for something else!

I have already traded my copy of "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar" for "Showgirls"!!

Honestly, who would want To Wong Foo? It's really bad. It's probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

I am truly getting the better end of the deal here.

And remember, darlings, like Cristal Conners sas, "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you!"

~ Elaine

Background.

2008-07-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

So after the riveting first post that hooked you to Bosh with Elaine and Josh, I am sure you are asking yourself some questions. "Who is Elaine?" "Who is Josh?" "Who are Elaine and Josh" "What does bosh even mean?" "Why am I not wearing pants right now?"

Well, my friend, while I cannot help you with the last question, I can begin to help you with the rest:

ELAINE is a seventeen year old Jewish girl who hates math. She has become bitter and jaded after working for minimum wage at a multiplex and can identify most dog breeds immediatley after seeing them. She has seen Elton John in concert and likes to read trashy memoirs and watch reruns of Queer as Folk on Logo.

JOSH is a sixteen year old Buddhist boy (who is often mistaken for a female on the phone). He has a 5.0 GPA and got fired from his first job. He is an avid crocheter and hypnotized himself to learn French quickly. He once went to a Halloween party as Uma Thurman from Kill Bill, and takes "genius pills" that his mom gives him.

ELAINE AND JOSH met in eighth grade when they both were taking the Yearbook class. They were placed in the same group and made a few shitty pages for the yearbook and spent the year making a video retrospective to be shown at the end-of-the-year banquet. They truly bonded when Elaine showed Josh the film Donnie Darko. Josh shared Pulp Fiction with Elaine, and since then they have spent there time finding other bizarre films to shock each other with. One of their favorite movies that they recommed to everyone they meet is The Man Who Fell to Earth. They pray to Tim Curry, and once drove two hours to see him interview John Landis (you can Wikipedia him if you don't know who he is...like we didn't. If you are unfamiliar with Tim Curry, we kindly ask you to leave this blog now.) They spend a lot of time at their favorite hangout, Santana's Mexican Grill, and making short films about eggs.

BOSH, if you looked at the top of the page you would know means: something regarded as absurd; nonsense.

Have a lovely evening,

Elaine and Josh

The Premise...

2008-07-25T22:18:00.001-07:00

Hello, Cyberspace. Welcome to Bosh with Elaine and Josh!

Elaine and Josh have been BFFs since eighth grade, and after this summer will enter their senior year of high school. They have a lot of goals to achieve before they blow out of this town, and this blog will be a way to keep track of the progress they are making.

It will also be a place for Elaine and Josh to bitch about people, employment, and the state of their young lives.

They are social people (to an extent) and invite their future loyal fans to comment and interact with them via this site.

You be learning more about Elaine and Josh in the upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

Take care of yourselves,

The Editors of Bosh with Elaine and Josh